Justin Baldoni and Male Feminists

What the Baldoni allegations say about Male Feminists?

“This is a patriarchal truism that most people in our society want to deny. Whenever women thinkers, especially advocates of feminism, speak about the widespread problem of male violence, folks are eager to stand up and make the point that most men are not violent. They refuse to acknowledge that masses of boys and men have been programmed from birth on to believe that at some point they must be violent, whether psychologically or physically, to prove that they are men.”
― Bell Hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

In the 2010, especially in the year 2013 to 2014 I jumped in two feet to the world of male feminism. This was the time of the Men’s Right Activists who wanted to troll feminists in person and online, where it became a concentrated effort to “own” the feminists. During this time I was also having a crisis of masculinity, I just left a rocky relationship and landed in another fraught relationship which also left me in a pretty shaken way. However I hated what I saw from Male Right Activists, I thought they were whiny jerks. Weirdos with too much time in their hands. It’s the same feeling I have when I see anyone in the manosphere today, I find them sad and pathetic. I found being a progressive feminist man to be counter-cultural, a bit rebellious at the time. Also I found my tribe, I joined a grassroots organization where I found a lot of my friends who also believed the same thing I did. We organized, and I did what every person who wanted their voice to be heard, I started a podcast.

I also believed that being a male feminist was not just to raise up the rights of women and girls, it was truly something I believed because it affected me personally. I was a youth advisor and I saw a lot of young boys lost and unsure of their way in the world. Also I felt the same way. Truly felt the words that Floyd Dell mentioned that in an essay on Feminism For Men:

“Feminism is going to make it possible for the first time for men to be free.”

The reason I’m telling you this is because not only do I identify as a male feminist, I have seen and participated with many male feminists, and people who love male feminists, and people who hate them. I have met many male feminists who I love, and some that disappoint me.

Male feminists have understandably been derided for a long time. Justin Baldoni and the accusations that face him, are going to make much harder for males to identify themselves as feminist.

What I hope is that these accusations will be the end of the liberal male feminist masculinity movement. A movement that I have been a skeptic, even back in 2010’s.

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In the 2010’s and especially after #MeToo and the backlash that occurred after the first Donald Trump election in 2016, there were many feminists that became prominent in the public conscious. Many were scholars, many were writers, many were celebrities. In the male feminism space two of them jumped out to be the most prominent: Justin Baldoni and Terry Crews.

Terry we can leave aside for a bit, but he was prominent due to his space as a male survivor during #MeToo and his bravery to speak about his abuse that happened. However he took on that role to speak more about masculinity and that’s where he has gotten into some hot water, especially within the black community and his comments around Black Lives Matter. Here’s a podcast episode I did about Terry Crews when I saw his speech in person.

Justin Baldoni, a TV star who was most famous at the time for Jane The Virgin jumped into the sphere of masculinity full on when he went to a TedTalk to talk about masculinity and his version of it, and his journey about his identity.

This talk became so popular among feminists and others that he wrote a book called “Man Enough” and then started the Man Enough Podcast with noted feminist who wrote about boys, Liz Plank. The podcast is one of the most popular “feminist podcast about male gender.” It’s fair to say that Justin’s jump into this world of Male Feminism has propelled him to do more projects that are similar, and also given him status as a person who cares about “these things.”

Justin Baldoni is fair to say before this incident the most popular celebrity Male Feminist at that time (outside of Justin Trudeau, who we will talk about later). He spoke well about his journey, and spoke well about things like domestic violence, which he spoke a lot about in relation to his new movie “It Ends With Us.” And this was his charm. He was a handsome man who spoke eloquently about these issues and was not afraid to be a spokesperson about. It didn’t seem like a gimmick, it seemed whatever happened before 2018 when that Ted Talk was released changed him as a man. He was walking the walk in a way that was his own.

However, I have always been skeptical of him and his ilk. His ilk meaning male feminists or people who really care about masculinity and the plight of boys that seem like they cared more about the spotlight than anything else. Liberal male feminists. And this is the most stereotypical thing about male feminists, that when push comes to shove, they are stuck in their patriarchal ways. Hell, this is so prominent that there’s an SNL sketch about it:

I don’t want to beat my own drum, but I have been skeptical of the liberal male feminist movement for a long time. These are men like bell hooks mentioned in that quote at the start, that are eager to show you their progressive credentials, but are worried about losing their manhood. Either by not leading, by standing aside, by someone calling them out for their non systemic point of view, or their psychological or physical abuse.

Justin Baldoni I think comes from a long line of liberal male feminists. These are people who describe themselves as male who are lifted because of their celebrity status more than what they actually do. They are platformed by others because of their looks, they are excited to lead projects and be front and centre of them. They are excited to tell you their opinion on feminism even though that opinion is not informed. They believe that they are the scion of the movement, don’t like to cooperate with others, and when push comes to shove, when the rubber hits the road, they are more talk than action. And in the end you become way more skeptical of there being any good male feminist.

Justin Trudeau is the leader of this liberal male feminist movement. He spoke about feminism as a world leader, he had a balanced gender cabinet, apologized profusely when needed, and was also a handsome man. But when push comes to shove, he cared more about his party, his own status, then feminism. And in the end, we didn’t want to say we wanted more people to be like Justin Trudeau, we wanted them to be less like him.

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Justin Baldoni, if the allegations are true and we may never know that, is very much in line of these liberal male feminists. They get propelled to speak about their life on national and international forums, they get asked for their opinions about masculinity even though they regurgitate ideas that have been in masculinity discourse for decades. They keep saying that “Boys should cry” but won’t tell you that capitalism and systemic misogyny are some of the roots of the issue for “boys not crying.” They will wear the pins, they will wear the buttons, they will write the book about their life, but they won’t have an interesting thing to say even though we put them on this pedestal. This happens more so if the male feminist has already a public spotlight and is generally handsome. Baldoni has all of these. This happens time and time again.

It’s the worse type of mistake someone can make, knowing the mistrust that Male Feminists already have, that it proves your doubters right. They are not just mistakes, they are value wounds.

And these people continuously let us down. Either they say something stupid or do something stupid. And generally the thing they say or do goes completely against what they have been talking about. It’s the worse type of mistake someone can make, knowing the mistrust that Male Feminists already have, that it proves your doubters right. They are not just mistakes, they are value wounds. Wounds that if someone who truly is committed to the “cause” would never do. These are the worst kind.

The thing is that this stereotype is so real that it becomes farce. I’m constantly worried that I don’t live for the values of liberal feminism. For male feminists I do believe we need to be wary about liberal male feminists and call them out when you see these behaviours in person. Or push them towards a path of cooperation, less leading and more acting, to where their values are being driven instead of massaged. Because unfortunately, we are partly to blame for someone become a highly regarded liberal male feminist. We love these men sometimes, we want to see them succeed, and Baldoni before this honestly was getting there. His podcast was a success, and before this he was saying and speaking with intelligence. However these accusations, if true, they are value wounds. If they are found to be false, then I will scratch all of this, but from all of those allegations they sound pretty damming.

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There are many male feminists out there that believe in feminism, that care about women and boys, that are not abusers, that will most likely walk the talk, that are genuinely amazing people, they care about systemic issues, that don’t need to lead, that worry about others, and don’t need a giant sign that says “I’m a Male Feminist!” That are also humans just like everyone else. I have met many of them, the issue is that you don’t get to hear about them, for this exact reason.

Feminists in general get a lot of hate thrown at them, unfairly. Women and non binaries get the most hate, they get the death threats, they get the abuse, they get videos being done of them just because they are speaking out. Male Feminists, we have it easier, but we don’t need to make this harder on ourselves either. I really hope from this we become more skeptical on who pedestal, who we look towards for guidance. Men are always needed to be feminists, men have always participated in these movements since the 1800’s, and that’s not going to stop now. Male feminists just need to be very wary about liberalism as a whole, and to live to our own values.